Cheeky Prepper

The musings of a Reluctant Prepper

Naked and Afraid Frustrates Me [Rant Alert]

Naked and Afraid Frustrates Me [Rant Alert]

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The more I learn about being prepared the more Naked and Afraid frustrates me. I know that starting a fire isn’t easy, I know that surviving buck naked cannot be easy, but really, these contestants have survival and nature backgrounds yet spend most of their time naked and afraid.

I keep searching for episodes to find one where they just slay the whole survival thing.

Before I continue this rant … I do not want to be a contestant on Naked and Afraid, but I do want to know how to make it should I end up in a situation that dire.

Here are things I think I would do, BEFORE going to the show.

  • Practice making fire. Lots of fires, using different methods in different conditions. A fire is easy if you have a good starter and plenty of dry tinder, but in humid conditions, you could be screwed.
  • Practice fasting. Be OK with being hungry, learn how to divert your mind from the fact that you haven’t eaten.
  • Hunt with primitive objects, make a fish trap, rig a snare.
  • Build an outdoor shelter, and figure out how to make it comfortable and get the bedding off of the ground and how to keep warm.  Then sleep there.
  • Watch a lot of YouTube videos for ideas about survival in different climates.
  • Read the SAS Survival Guide (I learned some very cool tricks in this guide so far … like if you strike a match, light a candle.)
  • Go barefoot, everywhere and toughen up the feet
  • Get a suntan to help the nether reasons be less likely to burn
  • Watch old episodes of Naked and Afraid to see what the dumb suckers before you did wrong

 

Now once you get “on set” the producers likely have some rules about what you can and cannot do, but it would make sense to me, before hiking to your camping spot there are a few things you should think about doing.

  1. Figure out how to make some damn shoes
  2. Collect dry tinder, maybe even start a fire and take a tinder box with you, so that later when it’s late and dark, you’re not fighting for fire your first night.

And what about those fish traps … not once on a show have I seen them add some bait to the trap.  They eat the grub for lunch then set out a fish trap empty after spending 2 days building it.  There’s no incentive for a fish to swim into that narrow trap unless there’s a chance to eat on the other side.

After all these seasons folks still put mats on the ground and wonder why they’re getting crawled on.

They don’t build back drops for the fire to force the heat into their shelter (also learned in the SAS Survival Guide) .

When it rains they hide in the shelter instead of trying to collect rain water.  Or worse yet, they don’t have a cover OVER the fire to keep it from going out.

Listen, I’m not a freaking expert, and I’d probably suck as bad as some of the folks on there, but for crying out loud, I wish they at least acted like they had some sense. I get it, you’re not “you” when you’re hungry, but still, didn’t you plan to be prepared to be Naked and Afraid?

OK … your turn to chime in … you can call me an jerk for feeling this way, or maybe you have some other suggestions on how to survive for 21 days in the comments below.